My First week

So, it's my first week as a size 16 and I'm feeling amazing. I have about 50 more pounds to lose so I'm working on it. I've found it's easier to work out when you have accountability so I work out with a trainer once a week and I have 2 work out dates with girlfriends on different mornings. This way it's sorta scheduled in and then I try to go 2 times on my own or go on a walk, etc. I've been a bit off track with my work out routine so it feels good to have a plan! It's funny because I've only lost 5 pounds but it meant losing another size so my body is definitely reshifting and hey, I'll take it. I have a goal of getting down to under 200 pounds for when I go home for Thanksgiving which is a totally attainable goal. I PROMISE to post some pix of the new size 16 me as I've been having fun buying new clothes :)

Thanks for all your support and to those work out buddies...let's keep it up!

I Didn't Know My Own Strength...

So, I've had a rough week and my eating has been really out of control. I've realized that regardless of what tools I have, I'm still an emotional eater. The funny thing is I can't really binge...well, ok...I had 4- 100 calorie snacks the other nite. My girlfriend laughed hearing that this is binge eating to me but, it freaked me out and made me stop and process. In the midst of stress I ran to food, it's like a reflex built into me so I need to be aware of it and make adjustments when needed. I'm doing better the past few days and I had to let myself off the hook at bit. So,I didn't lose any weight for the past couple weeks...it's ok. I did get off my eating plan for a few days but I realized that I can't be molly perfect eating only 1200 calories a day every single day for the rest of my life. So I quit beating myself up and got back on track. I was/am still drained emotionally but then I heard this amazing new Whitney Houston song....I'm in tears listening to it right now and if you haven't heard it, I highly recommend you download it from iTunes...it's a keeper. Many of you know what proceeded me having surgery and I was feeling really lost, hopeless and sad. When I heard this song it clicked with me...I didn't know how strong I was/am. Many of you have have commented to me that you think I'm courageous for having surgery and it surprises me because I didn't feel like I had a choice...all the signs were pointing there. I'm sooo very thankful for the surgery and all that has come after and when I think about courage I can only say that God carried me through it all and of course the support of so many wonderful friends and family. I think if you read the lyrics of this song...it says it all. Here's the lyrics:

I Didn't Know My Own Strength

Verse
Lost touch with my soul
I had no where to turn
I had no where to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I'd never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would break

Chorus
I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Held my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength


Verse
Found hope in my heart,
I found the light to life
My way out of the dark
Found all that I need
Here inside of me
I thought I'd never find my way
I thought I'd never lift that weight
I thought I would break

Chorus

Bridge
There were so many times that I
Wondered how I'd get through the night
I thought I took all I could take

Chorus

Time...

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,
and only you can determine how it will be spent.

Carl Sandburg

Never look down...

"Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road."

Dag Hammarskjold
1905-1961, Statesman and Secretary-General of U.N.

Shopping and Tears

Shopping and tears....happy tears actually. It was a week of 1st's...so picture me...I'm standing in the middle of a department store and for the first time since around junior high, I don't have to shop in the "big girl" section. It was overwhelming to me that this was even possible and wow...there were so many racks of things and most of them were on sale to boot. A friend was hanging with and helping me to put outfits together and she pushed me to try on a bunch of diff things and shocker...many of them worked! To all you who have never been fat before...there are pretty much 4 big girl stores to shop outside of expensive designer clothes. So, I'm used to only having very few choices of style, color, etc. It has opened up a whole new world for me and it's really exciting! Also, I've figured out that I've lost another 1/2 shoe size so I've gone from an 11 to a 9 1/2...very cool. I found another new store...it's called DSW and wow...the clearance racks...amazing. I ended up buying the cutest black heels and have my eye on some Guess sandals and am hoping they are still there on payday even if summer is ending. More than anything, it's so fun to feel pretty and confident in my clothes and my overall look. I sang at church today and for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, I didn't feel self conscious....what a great feeling. So, lots to take in and it keeps me motivated to get to my goal!

It's the amazing little things...

It's the little things in life like....

• Being able to cross my legs under a picnic table
• Physically craving fruit & veggies as snacks instead of carbs (at least most of the time)
• Looking forward to going on a 5k walk next weekend
• Going out more and meeting new people and not feeling sooo self conscious
• Being hit on by younger guys...woo hoo!
• Having to buy new shoes because I've lost another 1/2 size (not so bad, right ladies :)
• Being told by a nutritionist that I'm taking more supplements than the average joe
• Loving that I can make a casserole which will turn out to be a whole week of dinners
• Doing double takes of myself in the mirror...is that the skinny Lissa....wow!
• My complexion clearing up
• Enjoying being in sun this summer and having a little tan to prove it
  

And a not so little thing for me right now....getting to shop in "regular" stores. I feel out of my comfort zone as I've had like 3-5 clothes stores that I've shopped in all of my adult life. I'm at the point where I'm small enough to fit in regular extra large tops and I can shop almost anywhere I want. So, I have set up some shopping dates with friends to help me rebuild my dwindling wardrobe...which is a totally amazing thing in itself. I have been blessed with clothes all the way down by so many but at this point, I only have a few things left that fit or that I'm waiting to get into. So, I'm starting to build my own wardrobe and I'm still losing so it's tricky but it sure is fun!!!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

The Good Life

"Let's choose today to quench our thirst for the 'good life' we think others lead by acknowledging the good that already exists in our lives. We can then offer the universe the gift of our grateful hearts."

Sarah Ban Breathnach
Author of Simple Abundance